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In the recent weeks I have come across many people, friends and coaching clients, who were
expressing frustration with themselves.
Sometimes it was a physical pain, succumbing to a cold, feeling low or wondering why they
still hanging on to the ashes of a deceased loved one.
What all these people had in common, was a degree of aggression against themselves. Being
cross for their ‘stupid’ back hurting, angry for getting ill – “It’s really bad timing”, “Why am
I not just getting on with it?” etc.
The underlying assumption is that we are not being efficient and functioning at that moment.
The anger expressed suggests we are feeling put upon by our failing body or mind. Often our
working lives assume that we are highly functioning every single minute of the day. It also
assumes that we use the nighttime to sleep efficiently.

In the recent weeks I have come across many people, friends and coaching clients, who were
expressing frustration with themselves.
Sometimes it was a physical pain, succumbing to a cold, feeling low or wondering why they
still hanging on to the ashes of a deceased loved one.
What all these people had in common, was a degree of aggression against themselves. Being
cross for their ‘stupid’ back hurting, angry for getting ill – “It’s really bad timing”, “Why am
I not just getting on with it?” etc.
The underlying assumption is that we are not being efficient and functioning at that moment.
The anger expressed suggests we are feeling put upon by our failing body or mind. Often our
working lives assume that we are highly functioning every single minute of the day. It also
assumes that we use the nighttime to sleep efficiently.

For me this was at it’s most relevant a few years ago, as I was rushing between my office and the nursery: willing the bus to arrive, drive faster, silently shouting at passengers to hurry up getting on or off, staring at the lights to turn green, etc… The stress was intense, the nursery fees for a late pick up, too! Even the memory of it makes me feel tense, as I think about it now, years later.

The thought that I could chose to let go of this stress, was liberating.
Once I realised, that my behaviour and racing thoughts had absolutely no influence on the situation, it wouldn’t make the lights change any faster, no matter how often I counted down 3,2,1, GO! it only put me into heart pumping anxiety and often aggression for about 30 mins each day.
For nothing.

Clearly, in this case, leaving a bit more time for the travel, is an obvious answer, [and repeatedly writing to the local bus service asking when they will ever run a reliable, punctual time table?] but there were many other moments when I found myself getting irritated and impatient with where I was, because I wanted to be elsewhere. Prime trigger: queues.

Just drop it. Why do it to yourself?

Instead look around, enjoy the ride, do a raindrops race on the window, think about what made you laugh out loud recently. You will get there, when you get there. A few minutes earlier or later.
If you’re late, let the concerned people know, and let that be so. [Just don’t make a habit out of it, it’s so disrespectful.]
Seriously: Don’t get run over because you were in a rush, what a waste that would be.

Nowadays, any queue is an opportunity for a yoga MOUNTAIN POSE for me.
Standing tall, breathing calmly, shoulders dropped, poised, ready to take a step at anytime, surveying my queendom from atop of the mountain.

Not waiting, just being.

YOU are in charge?

Some say we might be at a half time point in the lockdown.
Does the idea of everything going back to ‘normal’ fill you with dread?
Let me indulge myself and you, lovely reader, for a moment, and pretend that the vicious virus will have simply gone away. [Ahhh, that’s better.]

Here are some questions that have been bubbling up lately:

How can we make that new normal better?

What are the choices you had to make, that you would like to hold on to?

What are the new habits that you’d like to continue with?

What are the things you want to make sure you don’t return to?

What caused you pain and stress before? Can you let go of those?

What was your purpose? and is that still relevant?

What gave you pure joy during the lockdown?

What’s the most important thing in your life?*

What other benefits and opportunities lie ahead, that you can get going with, today?

And as you are in charge of your life, what’s the first thing you do?

*The most important things in life, aren’t things. Anthony .J D’Angelo.

This week we launched the second edition of TOOLBOX, a leadership programme for Outdoor Arts Producers, developed & delivered by me in collaboration with the great team at 101 Outdoor Arts Creation Centre.

Simon Chatterton (Strategic Lead at 101) and I started dreaming about an event like this, over 10 years ago on a long walk in Morecambe Bay, when we were taking part in a leadership programme. It took a few years, but in 2019 we had our first Toolbox Residency.
Situated in a light industrial business zone, near Greenham Common, 101 has got brilliant facilities, large studios and accommodation in fancy Portacabins (en-suite!). Simon and I always agreed that conviviality, companionship and good food were high on the list for creating the right atmosphere for sharing.
Having worked for several years as a freelance arts producer, I established my company ArtsAgenda in 2004, because I wanted producers like me to be able to work with brilliant artists, without getting burnt out, exploited, and lonely in the process.

The relationship between producers and artists can be quite dynamic. The fact that the role of producer is still ill defined and can include everything and anything (from the sublime to t